If you have never read CS Lewis’ book, “The Four Loves,”go and buy it immediately.
There is a selfish love in humanity which is no love at all—”If I can’t have you, no one will.” Or perhaps, “If I can’t be happy, I’ll make sure that you aren’t, either.”
Contrast this “love” with appreciative love. “Appreciative love gazes and holds its breath and is silent, rejoices that such a wonder should exist even if not for him, will not be wholly dejected by losing her, would rather have it so than never to have seen her at all.” As God gently notes, “our love must be sincere. Cling to what is good.”(Rom 12:9)
Today, be steadfast. Recognize that, though our feelings come and go, God’s love for us does not. Commit to experiencing the beautiful agony and soaring heights of love, which sacrifices much but never abandons, even when rejected. Today, realize that “love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.”