Careers! Perhaps you’re wondering how you can make an extra $3500/month helping me. Well you can’t! It’s only me! Perhaps this upsets you?

Above, right to left: painting pictures as I have instructed her, her pet donkey, a rare smile after being allowed 30 minutes of yard time instead of 15, her actual fridge highlighting her pickle obsession; her looking at the windows, which I keep barred for your safety.

You can address your complaints via my complaint form located here. My full-time complaint clerk can be contacted at this link, though she only works 7-4 CST. She addresses complaints in the order in which she receives them, and I only pay her 7.95/hr, so she’s not really cheerful. She’s also running a B&B to make some extra scratch, so her punctuality is hit or miss.

Now scram, bozo! Get lost!


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