Category: Humor and Other Writings

Sometimes I amuse myself.

Ginsburg’s Will Reveals She Bequeathed Seat to Granddaughter

Ginsburg’s Will Reveals She Bequeathed Seat to Granddaughter

Reading Time: 2 minutes “These are lifetime appoints and even heirlooms, good morning, good Sunday,” Nancy Pelosi told CNN’s Don Lemon during a mid-day interview. “They’re passed down from generation to generation, and only rarely to people outside of the family, and even then it’s at the discretion of the Justice. It was meant to be that way with the Presidency, too—Hillary won, you know. Hey, where did the wine in this bottle go? Who stole it?”

Millions of Trump Voters Suddenly Support Obama

Millions of Trump Voters Suddenly Support Obama

Reading Time: 2 minutes Former VP Biden is currently claiming that he doesn’t even remember someone named Arack Osblama and that anyone who claims they’ve been seen together is a lying, dog-faced pony soldier for saying, you know, the thing.

drew brees jacob blake helmet
NFL Puts Quotes from Virtuous Victims on Helmets

NFL Puts Quotes from Virtuous Victims on Helmets

Reading Time: < 1 minute There’s more to a person than just their name, and the NFL wants fans to make more of a connection with victims of police and vigilante brutality. Instead of only having the names of victims on their uniforms and helmets, NFL players will now have lists of quotable quotes and the hobbies and pastimes of the unfairly brutalized. “Smells like you’ve been with other men,” Drew Brees of the St….

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USA, Other Lockdown Countries Vie for What Little Remains of Sweden

USA, Other Lockdown Countries Vie for What Little Remains of Sweden

Reading Time: 2 minutes “It’s a shame that they didn’t listen to me,” said Dr. Fauci in one of his cherished telecons. “Where are they all to mock me now? Dead! In the ground, fertilizing plants. By the way, make sure you practice social distancing with your plants, they can spread coronavirus you know.”

Mitt Romney Dies, Reincarnates as Corporation

Mitt Romney Dies, Reincarnates as Corporation

Reading Time: < 1 minute Having declared, “Corporations are people,” to much scorn and mockery from outraged liberals, Mitt Romney ended up on the right side of history today after dying in an auto accident and being instantly reincarnated as Raytheon.

Christians: Netflix and Your Children

Christians: Netflix and Your Children

Reading Time: 3 minutes We should be nice to everyone, treating them with gentleness and respect, PERIOD. However, we also need to stand firm against moral decay. Netflix recently posted this thread about the damage of misgendering pre-pubescent kids:

Underwater Society of Racists Found

Underwater Society of Racists Found

Reading Time: 2 minutes Rachel Hicks is just about to earn her PhD in marine biology, but a recent feat might be the peak of her academic career. In between gender-balancing her bookshelf and signing petitions to decolonize mathematics (or really anything), Hicks made a shocking discovery: beneath the waves, clandestine meetings of racists are being held.

Protestors to Tear Down Alamo in Effort to Heal Nation

Protestors to Tear Down Alamo in Effort to Heal Nation

Reading Time: 2 minutes George Soros has promised to have the building demolished if the protestors can’t manage it, though he says he’s been rethinking his tactic of leaving pallets of bricks everywhere, which “seem to just be making it bigger.”

Hot New Pickup Artist Book for All Ages, “Ridin’ with Biden”

Hot New Pickup Artist Book for All Ages, “Ridin’ with Biden”

Reading Time: 2 minutes Seeking to improve his credibility and rating with all age demographics, Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden is releasing a new book, “Ridin’ with Biden: Mastering the Art of “Unwanted” Seduction—A Guide for All Ages.”