Reading Time: < 1 minute The Sanders campaign has expressed outrage, noting that while Sanders will definitely have kicked the bucket by 2024, it’s not acceptable for Trump to use such a logo, because it appropriates Bernie’s ideas.
Reading Time: < 1 minute Sanders says he also plans to rename the United States to the “United States Socialist Republic,” as “USSR has a nice ring to it.”
Reading Time: < 1 minute Des Moines—With the help of an app developed by Spectre, Inc., Republicans were able to get their Trojan-horse candidate the top spot in the Iowa caucuses. While the app initially had a spotty development, it was finished just in time with the help of an elite group of coders loaned…
Reading Time: 2 minutes There’s no hoax worse than heterosexuality. Well, except for claiming that there’s a ‘cis’ in ‘team.’
Reading Time: < 1 minute Kubrick says he observed that his own bosses were typically full of recommended managerial traits such as mendacity, jealousy, strife, and light-to-moderate perversion. Many of them were also about as intelligent as rutting goats.
Reading Time: 2 minutes Elizabeth Warren, falling in popularity with the woke, recently took a vision quest into their hearts and minds and discovered an undeniable truth.
Reading Time: 2 minutes Due to limited space, passengers above 4’10” will be asked to gate check their legs, but will be allowed to pick them up free of charge at their final destination.
Reading Time: 2 minutes Out of a deep respect for the students, Yale administrators have agreed to cancel the university entirely. “Only in total silence are we truly free to speak,” said Dean of Students Karissa Star.