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The Trump Administration recently announced that one Mr. Qasem Soleimani, an austere practitioner of Sun Tzu, was deliberately “denied boarding of his flight, permanently” in order to “prevent escalation of tension with Iran.” The late, bearded General was allegedly in Iraq, the 51st state in the union, in order to de-escalate tensions in informal talks with Saudi Arabia, when he tried to interfere with American interests by illegally attacking one of our Hellfire missiles with his vehicle.

Warhawk Hillary “She’s-Very-Lifelike” Clinton has been quite worried that turning a foreign official into stir fry would bring about peace, which the Administration said was the goal of the action. Unfortunately for Mrs. Clinton, the goal seems to be accomplished, with numerous reports that Iran is sending its thoughts and prayers for peace to our airbases via ballistic trajectories.

It’s considered likely by the Pentagon that this is not a serious effort, and is merely a way for Iran to save face and ask for forgiveness without actually doing anything.

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