Tag: democratic debate

Dembate: Democrats Confuse “Diversity” with Group of Fighting, White, Millionaire Septuagenarians

Lucas Necessary

Reading Time: < 1 minuteDes Moines, IA, Minute-by-Minute Reporting—Tonight’s debate is underway, but it appears that the Democrats have already made some sort of clerical error. The party of diversity and inclusion is currently running a group of fighting, white, millionaire septuagenarians, after having canceled all the candidates of color. A woman who eats salad with a comb and a young Republican man are also inexplicably on stage, along with a weasel-eyed billionaire. In…

Lost Tribe of Cannibals Found as Left Eats Itself

Lucas Necessary

Reading Time: 2 minutesWashington, D.C.—Note: This is part in a series on the Democratic Debates. We’ll check back in with Tuesday’s Carnage Coverage© tonight. Anthropologists with the Smithsonian Institute made a surprising discovery Monday as they found evidence of a massive, lost tribe of cannibals, spread across the entirety of the United States, in much the same way as a stage IV cancer. “We were reviewing some old artifacts from the 2010s, mostly…