I can’t say that I naturally engage many people—one of my relationships started off with the other person stating that I seemed boring, and from our perspectives, that was an accurate assessment. There is nothing inherently wrong with someone finding you boring; people have different interests, and they might share little in common. The topics I love tend to have little appeal to most, and my personality is more than a little off-putting to a number of folks. (But I promise, I’m like Limburger cheese.)
Because of all that, you’d think that it wouldn’t have taken me 31 years to realize that CS Lewis was right when he wrote in “The Four Loves,“
“Lovers are always talking to one another about their love; Friends hardly ever about their Friendship. Lovers are normally face to face, absorbed in each other; Friends, side by side, absorbed in some common interest….People who bore one another should meet seldom; people who interest one another, often.”
I’ve only ever met two females ever that I’d lose hours just talking with. In retrospect, letting those rare opportunities go really stunted my ability to experience joy—we’re not meant to be alone all the time. I don’t think that there’s any way to replace that deep engagement of the mind, because it lasts so much longer than the flame of the heart, and it stokes the other passions when they grow dim.
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” (Matthew 22:37)
With love, always,