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Above: Social Justice LARPers bring freedom and justice to the one-of-a-kind pieces of art being held captive by a Barbarian Boomer inside this store.

Americans across the country are taking part in what’s been called the biggest new fad that’s ever swept a nation: Social Justice LARPing. Standing for “live action role-play,” it’s an offshoot of what initially began with Dungeons and Dragons in the 1970s, and participants can dress up as wizards, rangers, or paladins, though thieves and rogues seem to be most popular. The most popular class of all, however, is the White Knight.

Yes, citizens across the entire US are taking part. “Look, an evil dragon’s lair,” shouted one social justice LARPer. “He’s been oppressing minorities! Let’s teach him a lesson.” He and his merry band of masked men then smashed into the local Walmart and looted all of the TVs and laptops and cameras and cash from the evil dragon’s den.

“Whoa-ho,” said one of the LARPers. “Look at this, an ATM! Give me the prybar, quick! This dragon’s not only a racist, but a capitalist pig as well. Boy we’ll show him!”

They took off through the smashed glass of the store, throwing their belongings into a $50,000 SUV, which they’d liberated from a Boomer. “Ahoy, team, look! A family-owned business. Where’s their Blackout Tuesday notice? Must be a family of murderers. Down with ’em!”

Never has America had so much fun while creating justice!

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