Democrats Counter-Nominate New, Improved Ruth Vader Ginsburg

Democrats Counter-Nominate New, Improved Ruth Vader Ginsburg

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Washington, DC—Anxiously hoping to throw out an alternative that sticks, Democrats are setting a new precedent by counter-nominating a Supreme Court Justice, even though they don’t have the votes or the constitutional authority to do so.

“The constitution is an old document and more of a pamphlet of suggestions than anything else,” Nancy Pelosi said of the strange move. “It’s unfortunate that Trump had to nominate a Catholic like Amy Coney Barrett. Just imagine how far she could have gone if she didn’t belong to a cult which keeps women down.”

Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer plan to bring back Ruth Bader Ginsburg, claiming Darth Vader was mostly machine, and the new Ruth Vader Ginsburg will have “very similar features.”

Together with Mitt Romney, they’re also contracting Raytheon to build a surgical-strike death star which will “only completely obliterate all life in red states.”

Correspondent A. Jones contributed to this report.

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