Reading Time: 3 minutes Once upon a time, there lived an orange-skinned man and his son, Jerome, or JPow, as his friends called him, on their small estate in the fabled land of Washington, DC. It was said to be a hive of scum and villainy, but the orange-skinned man, Mr. Donald, and his son, Jerome Powell, well, they made the best of it in trying times.
Reading Time: < 1 minute Candidate Joe Biden’s odd story about getting into a chain-fight with bad-boy pool Kraken CornPop came under fire today.
Reading Time: 2 minutes “Kathleen, our records indicate that you haven’t been vaccinated with the GATES’ HUMAN DEFENDER antivirus. To resolve this issue, please select “Ok, I’ll be vaccinated,” or “Cancel” to exit the store immediately. Remember, if it moves and has blood, it can be vaccinated!” the robot said cheerfully.
Reading Time: < 1 minute President Trump wooed conservatives with promises to pay off the $19 trillion national debt in only eight years, and good news—only $25.4 trillion left to go! It’s a darn sight better than that rotten Obummer did with his 8 years, that’s for sure!
Reading Time: < 1 minute So far the institution only offers PhDs, including a Doctorate of Official Narrative and a Doctorate of Liberty Suppression. The courses can be completed in under 8 hours, but teach people how to quickly suss out what sort of videos should and shouldn’t be viewed by the public at large, how to ban people in online platforms, and how to be maximally condescending.
Reading Time: < 1 minute Realizing that teachers in face-to-face educational settings will see casualty rates in the range of 99-100%, and sometimes higher in red states, which sadly embrace the deadly disease, the Democrats have launched into action to save lives.
Reading Time: < 1 minute Mayor Bill de Blasio had told citizens that any person caught swimming would be taken right out of the water, but it was too late for one foolish local resident.
Reading Time: 2 minutes Go and look out your kitchen window. Have you done it? Did you see anyone on the street, walking in the fresh air and sunshine? Most were decent, law-abiding citizens, the type that you’d never invite into your home, obviously, but who you’d smile at from behind your N95, and hope that they understood.
But I bet you saw something else, too.
Reading Time: 2 minutes Bryan Franzel hopes that the lockdowns will end soon, as he thinks that the state shouldn’t be involved in anyone’s bedroom, and he’s really tired of the forced monogamy.
Reading Time: 2 minutes “Listen up, bucko,” he angrily remarked at the camera. “Who are you and what are you staring at?” An aide was fetched to change his Zoom screen, which he had accidentally set to show his own face.