Reading Time: 3 minutes

dōTERRA, a reverse-funnel “word-of-mouth” company, has recently released a hit self-help book. Titled “How To Monetize Friends And Influence People,” the book quickly became a top-seller on Amazon and has received a bevy of 5-star reviews, with only a few people upset with the contents. We’ve compiled a few of the reviews for you below, including a few of the less-than-please comments, which were minor in number, and some of which did not seem to be verified purchases:


⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

While I must say that I am ***NOT*** a fan of the $49.99 price tag for this book, it does have good advice. My favorite chapters were:

2. Just Because They Say They’re Watching Their Budget: Getting Blood out of a Stone
3. What We Can Learn from Spiders
6. The Blessing of Human Emotion: Lonely People Will Pay the Most
7. Dealing With Science Scoffers: “Well sure, you’ve tried all the best, so now why don’t you try all the rest? It’s part of the scientific method.”

—Clairice Still, verified purchase

⭐⭐⭐⭐

What use are friends if your not making any scratch off of them? like get lost, scram bozo haha. I knocked one star off of this review because i bought the ebook and i cant resell it

Cynthia S., verified purchase

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I am giving this 5 stars for the good content, but there is also a lot of unneeded “filler” that talks about how to influence people, mostly into influencing their own friends into selling products. Unnecessary and not required. Also, since when do I want people butting into my dōTERRAtory? It’s my turf. Back off. But, yes, the parts about upselling friends is really profitable, as we like to say at the church I go to.

Simone Alexander, verified purchase

box with book arrived torn apart, no book inside, 1 star

Beatriz O

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I’d always wanted to be an entrepreneur, you know—to make something the world needs, from scratch. And now I’m doing just that, by foisting essential oils onto my friends. Sure, I don’t make the oils by hand, but I do kind of make the happiness and good health that they bring, along with a tidy profit. And in that way, I’m basically the same as any other small business owner—buying individual parts, but putting the thing all together in the end. How to Monetize friends has really increased my sense of self-worth, and also my post count! 5 stars! Contact me at [redacted] if you’re interested in a new order of rose oil I have coming in. It’s really good for sinus infections and late-stage esophageal cancer!

Anne-Marie Sturgie, verified purchase

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

This book was great and increased my income by about 200%. I checked and after applying its techniques, my takehome for last month had jumped to $2.66 after expenses. Unfortunately, it looks like my friends count has gone down on fb so I guess more people are leaving the social media scene.

Sarah Necessary, verified purchase

They spelled exploit wrong.

Britt Brooks

dōTERRA has faced increasing pressure from rival Young Living, with sales of Young Living exploding after they released their “Essential Opioid” line of oils, which includes a variety of oils that are said to help cure sinus infections, arthritis, and generalized lassitude malaise, while also helping wean people off of dangerous drugs, like marijuana. The most popular of release in this new line of precious liquids is now the brand’s number one best-seller, which they’re calling “Health-star Heroin.”

Grapefruit oil has been shown to cure insomnia, frequent headaches, and decapitation.

dōTERRA has also seen a decline in revenue after a Facebook developer released a free app to automatically unfriend people who try to sell you things. A lawsuit is currently pending claiming that this inhibits free speech.

Share your comments, critiques, or criticisms here. [Please note that I alter most the hate comments to make them funnier for the other readers.]