Lakewood, Texas—Tired of fighting to be good? Scared of Jesus and his flaming retribution? Boy does Lakewood Church have a family for you!
American Megaultrapastor Joel Osteen reveals shocking new details on this one weird trick! Says Osteen,
“What if I told you about a little prayer I found? A real winner for the unabashed sinner! Say this puppy and you can go out knocking over banks and hussies! Salvation guaranteed. No repentance needed or your money back!”
On the cover of his new book, “How to Embrace Phenomenal Wealth Just Like Joel Osteen,” is the caption,
Buy this New York Times number-one best seller today and beat Jesus at His own game!