Reading Time: 2 minutesOsteen blames the toilet detaching from the wall on janitors who are content to hide their talents rather than trying to invest them to make the master more money, which he said he means in both the figurative and literal sense.
Reading Time: < 1 minute“Whiter than forgiven sins, whiter than snow,” he told his congregation about his most recent cleaning. “I won’t leave the dentist’s office until the radiant power of my teeth can drop a protestor at 500 paces. Watch as I roll back my lips as a scroll.” The front row of congregants was permanently blinded by the event.
Reading Time: < 1 minuteSays Osteen, “No repentance needed or your money back!”
Reading Time: 2 minutesThe woman stated her desire to be immersed for the forgiveness of her sins, of course, the many blessings and financial fortunes that God and Joel Osteen promise his followers.