Washington, DC—In a stunning move on Friday, the Supreme Court ruled that prisons may not observe Daylight Saving Time. In an 8-1 vote, the justices struck down the heinous form of torture that prisons nationwide were implementing on all inmates, regardless of crime or sentence, every year.
Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg was the sole dissenting vote, writing with cutting disagreement that eliminating daylight saving time will “unfairly impede the ability of inmates to milk cows, pasture sheep, and attend to beaver slides.”
Her dissent carried a progressive bent, further commenting that the move will lead to “excess burning of kerosene in wick-lamps in the early morning hours” and that “an extra threat to inmates from candle-hay fires in barns with mangers” could lead to an increase in incarcerative mortalities.
In an unusual turn of style, Ginsburg also put in her remarks that her former court colleague, Bushrod Washington, would never have assented to the ruling.