“Why Do Christians Have to Believe in Fairy Tales?” Laments Atheist Who Doesn’t Believe in Free Will

“Why Do Christians Have to Believe in Fairy Tales?” Laments Atheist Who Doesn’t Believe in Free Will

Reading Time: 2 minutes


Renowned atheist and neuroscientist, Dr. Sam Harris, was recently seen quizzically muttering to himself, “Why? Why do they keep choosing to believe in that dumb Sky Daddy? Why do Christians believe in fairy tales? How can I stop them? Oh these ignoramuses!”

His perturbed confusion was observed as he was en route to a speech at a local college, where he talked on the soundness of material determinism, explaining just how dumb you are if you believe in free will. Said Harris quite correctly,

“You are no more responsible for the state of your brain in this moment than you are for your height…thoughts simply arise in the mind. But the idea that we as conscious beings are responsible for the characters of our minds, simply can’t be mapped onto reality. ”

“You dummies,” he added. “You can do what you decide to do, but you cannot decide what you will decide to do!” He quickly asked an aide if he’d used a double-double single negative-positive and if his last statement made any sense whatsoever. Being a scientific atheist, it did.

But Harris wasn’t done there! Sure, these people don’t make their own choices (that would require things from religious superstition to exist, like a spirit or will or something) for themselves, but it’s our job to lecture and then reject them for their ignorance. And so Dr. Harris continued with a riposte to the abject stupidity of these religious locusts,

“We have a choice. We have two options as human beings. We have a choice between conversation and war. That’s it. Conversation and violence. And faith is a conversation stopper…The fact that my continuous and public rejection of Christianity does not worry me in the least should suggest to you just how inadequate I think your reasons for being a Christian are.”

Take that, zealots! I’m so glad that his molecules made him give those remarks, because religious folks need to be shown their places—in the dustbin of history!

In this writer’s mind, it’s absolutely goofy that people still believe that they’re responsible for their actions. And it’s even stranger that any person with a working brain would choose to believe in a myth like Jesus. You’d have to be an idiot or lunatic. But most probably, both.


Share your comments, critiques, or criticisms here. [Please note that I alter most the hate comments to make them funnier for the other readers.]