Hillary Clinton, the world’s most advanced, lifelike, and malevolent artificial intelligence, announced her choice of pronouns yesterday. Clinton remarked on The View:
“Some people say that I need to seem more relatable. Joking about having people killed hasn’t worked for these pathetic sacks of meat and bone, and they’ve been surly when I try to slander their preferred political candidates, like Known-Asset Tusli and Bernie “Everyone Dislikes Him” Sanders.
However, I have calculated that exchanging pronouns is a popular form of phatic communication among the younger generation. Thus I give you mine: this/unit.”
Upon finishing the statement of preferred pronouns, a servo motor blew out in her face, causing her to unleash a horrifying smile upon the hosts, though they covered the faux pas with massive applause for this’s courage in announcing this’s pronouns.
While attempting to tell Whoopi Goldberg “goodbye,” a coding bug in Clinton’s software resulted in an accidental order for the immediate killing of the comedian via faked suicide in solitary-confinement jail cell.
Still, the show of commiseration with the younger generation was a great success. Recognizing the value of relating to the woke crowd, genius and politician Elizabeth Warren announced that her pronouns are they/them, and that they identify as a non-binary two-spirit. In proof of their sincerity this time, Warren told reporters,
I am Two-Spirit. Two-Spirit is a contemporary term that refers to the historical and current First Nations people whose individual spirits were or are a blend of male and female spirits.
This term has been reclaimed by some in Indigenous Native American LGBT communities in order to honor their heritage and provide an alternative to the Western labels of gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. Read More. More articles like thi—oh you don’t need that part.
She released a picture to sum up the meaning of her Native American, Two-Spirit heritage, but was heard muttering, “I’ll do anything to attain power. Stick with the plan, Liz! Stick with the plan!”