Chicago, IL—Boeing celebrated it’s Boeing 737 Max being greenhouse-gas free for one year, inviting investors to lap up more stocks of the stupendous aircraft company. Never before has an aircraft manufacturer battled climate change with such killer strength.
While the bigwigs and fatcats maintained proper social distancing at the lavish feast thrown at 100 North Riverside Plaza, they made certain to point out that they were even more distant from the “dumb engineers who built that stupid plane.” In the past months, the Boeing engineers have been exposed as monkeys, who were supervised by clowns, all located in the dreary town of Seattle, where the state flower is mildew.
Boeing is set to relaunch the 737 Max just as soon as COVID-19 goes away. One Boeing executive pointed out that the Max not only cuts down on greenhouse gasses, but when people fly on it, they tend not to need ventilators, which are in short supply—another benefit of the airplane!
Boeing’s new CEO, Dave Calhoun, said that the 737 Max may have been ridiculed for having some “minor niggles,” but it’s really the first self-grounding aircraft. He also said that the coronavirus is “making an already safe airplane safer.”