DNC Places Hidden Trapdoor Under Bernie in Case He Gets Too Popular at Tonight’s Debate

DNC Places Hidden Trapdoor Under Bernie in Case He Gets Too Popular at Tonight’s Debate

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New Hampshire—Having failed to stop Bernie in Iowa, where they hired Shadow, Inc., and its subsidiary Clinton LLC, the Democratic National Committee has promised its constituents that they’re going to do better during tonight’s debate.

While the debate will feature rigged questions designed to tear down the candidate, Plan is the rigged debate stage, which features a literal trapdoor under Bernie Sanders. A nearby DNC member has a kill-switch that activates the trap, sending Sanders below the floor into a cage, where it’s hoped that he’ll be less persuasive.

If this strategy fails, the DNC plans on having the candidate make his way through a house-of-mirrors prior to each debate. If worst comes to worst, Hillary Rodham Clinton says she can “call in an Epstein” as a favor to the party.

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