Stress can get to anyone, even House Speaker Nancy Pelosi who recently was caught in a bizarre smash-n-grab where she ramped a Dodge into a local liquor store and was videoed making off with shopping carts full of wine. Confronted later that day about the event, the Speaker commented,
“Let me just say this. I take responsibility for trusting the word of the liquor store that I’ve been to over the years many, many, many times, and that when they said, “Well, we’re able to accommodate people one at a time, and that we can set up that time, and that yes we have can sell you 100 gallons of wine, but you said it’s not for an event,” I trusted that. As it turns out, it was a setup. So I take responsibility for falling for a setup. And that’s all I’m going to say on that.”
Speaker Pelosi qualified her statement with, “They have insurance, so it doesn’t count!”
Immediately afterward, Pelosi was spotted ramping a Lexus into a Jeni’s Ice Cream shop and loading it up with the frozen treat. Sadly, her dog Sloth was fatally injured during this second setup, while Gluttony and Pride were suffocated by the tubs of ice cream thrown on top of them—just more proof that alt-right hate groups will go to any lengths to terrorize citizens and public servants.
Nancy wasn’t able to hold a press conference about the second incident as she was indisposed. Unrelated to that, an aide was seen smashing a Toyota Avalon into a 7-Eleven and then running off with 5 gallons of Pedialyte in yet another setup by white-supremacist Trump supporters.