Opinion: Bernie Beat Male Life Expectancy, So He Can Beat Trump, Too!

Opinion: Bernie Beat Male Life Expectancy, So He Can Beat Trump, Too!

Reading Time: 2 minutes

By Guest Columnist Paul David:

Having already beaten the average male life expectancy, you can’t convince this writer that Bernie can’t beat Trump, too. Heck, the man survived a heart attack, which is a miracle in a country which has such a bad healthcare system. Yep, there’s no way a little campaign ad will do him in.

Bernie’s even managed to collect a number of houses, including a lakeside dacha, all while slaving away under the oppressive tyranny of capitalism, without ever having a job that’s involved real labor. An impressive feat, and another reason to vote for the man.

And Bernie has the support of a voting block that Trump has savagely tried to kill off almost entirely: the unemployed. Make no mistake about it, people who don’t want to work will show up in droves to have the human right not only to a job, but to not have a job at all, and yet still get the same benefits. And as the last holdouts of the unemployed, they’re the most dedicated soldiers, truly feeling the bern!

Now I must mention that while people attack Bernie for saying “goofy things,” like how great the USSR was, or why Fidel was pretty good at teaching those he didn’t murder to instead read his propaganda, he has some good points that they’re failing to acknowledge. I, for one, was ecstatic when Bernie remarked,

“American journalists talk about how bad a country is because people are lining up for food. That’s a good thing! In other countries people don’t line up for food; the rich get the food and the poor starve.”

The man is right! Vote Bernie 2020—he’ll grab the wealthy by the pursey! (And it’s immoral for anyone to make over $12,000 a year, if you ask me. No one should be that ludicrously wealthy!)

Bernie 2020: Line Up for Food!

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