Relief: Combined Dem Candidate Age Now Only Stretches Back to Year 1712
Although some Democrats have complained bitterly about how old their candidates are, and how one of them keeps a statue of Stalin in his bedroom, a recent culling of the candidate field has given them one positive result:
The combined age of the frontrunner candidates is now only 308! Subtracted from the current year, their life experience takes us back to 1712, when America was just a twinkle in Britain’s eye.
After thoughtfully removing all of the young, colored candidates, the Democrats now have a strong field of rich, white septuagenarians, the perfect people to take on the current rich, white septuagenarian in the White House.
Do you remember when they had an African American, an Asian, and a Pacific Islander running? Those dummies wanted school choice, more entrepreneurs, and to end wars, respectively. I’m sure glad that they decided to go with a heart-attack victim who praises bread lines, a New Yorker with NDAs for sexual malfeasance, a Native American who has honed the art of the lie, and an old codger who wants to criminalize pot, instead.
That’s the life experience that America deserves in taking on Trump!