Opinion: It’s Easy To Spot A Mass Murderer. They Don’t Wear Masks.

Opinion: It’s Easy To Spot A Mass Murderer. They Don’t Wear Masks.

Reading Time: 2 minutes
man caught not wearing mask

Opinion: For many, it used to be hard to spot mass murderers and serial killers. Experts said that you’d encounter 7 of them in your lifetime, on average, and never even know it. They blended in seamlessly with the crowd: an invisible enemy in plain sight.

But now it’s easy to spot a mass murderer: they don’t wear masks.

Go and look out your kitchen window. Have you done it? Did you see anyone on the street, walking in the fresh air and sunshine? Most were decent, law-abiding citizens, the type that you’d never invite into your home, obviously, but who you’d smile at from behind your N95, and hope that they understood.

But I bet you saw something else, too. That man, just there, jogging. Did you notice the telltale sign? He’s running down the street, and yet he doesn’t have a mask.

The invisible enemy among us is no longer invisible. Now they boast of their body counts not by notches on their belts, but by showing off their teeth. Spittle flying, they’re deranged lunatics, and in no way can they be trusted.

You’ve seen them on the news: a deserted beach, except for…that woman! Walking! Looking for her next victim, no doubt. Oh good, now the police are beating her down with batons. We’re safe again…for now.

As the number of mass murderers in our midst increases, it’s more important than ever to avoid sunshine, vitamin D, and contact with these evil individuals. 6 feet is in no way a safe distance from such human scum. Stay inside. Bolt the doors. Demand contactless delivery. Support small businesses, such as Amazon and Walmart. Social distance. Physical distance. Nature distance.

And report the murderers. They’ve unmasked themselves.

Share your comments, critiques, or criticisms here. [Please note that I alter most the hate comments to make them funnier for the other readers.]