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Necessary News Roundup, 5 March 2022

ukraine

Necessary News Roundup, 5 March 2022

Necessary News Roundup, 5 March 2022

Lucas Necessary

Reading Time: 4 minutesFor too long, people have thought of the news as something designed to give them information. Wrong! News is created to tell you what to believe, sure, but most importantly, how to feel—and that’s where I come in! No ads, no hijinks, just factory-fresh news, straight from me, Lucas Necesito. So let’s get started with the past week’s events!

Taliban to Donate $30 Billion in Excess Arms, Lethal Aid to Ukraine

Taliban to Donate $30 Billion in Excess Arms, Lethal Aid to Ukraine

Lucas Necessary

Reading Time: 2 minutesMeanwhile, President Biden is also sending an exorcist to check on the Ghost of Kyiv, which he described in a press conference as, “Yeah, c’mon man, it might be fighting for you now, but who knows what a ghost is thinking…gimme a break.”

Idiots in Hateful Sky-Daddy Cult Once Again Giving Free Disaster Relief to Poor People

Idiots in Hateful Sky-Daddy Cult Once Again Giving Free Disaster Relief to Poor People

Lucas Necessary

Reading Time: 2 minutesDeranged religious cultists are once again spreading their intolerance and bigotry abroad.

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  • NOTE! Zoom in for full list. Some icons at default view contain 5+ hikes when zoomed in. I'm transcribing these hikes in my own order, but if you'd like to see one moved to the top of the review list, just let me know.


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