University College London—At a recent conference for vile women (well, vile women with vaginas, since women with penises wouldn’t stoop so low), transrights activists admitted that they had a small problem. In the midst of this conglomeration of horrible transphobia, disgracefully named “Women’s Liberation 2020,” the transrights activists ran hit a kink—pun intended!
“First, we were just running out of letters to put after LGBTQ…you know, since there are infinite possibilities,” said transrights organizer Cassandra Franks, who points out that she’s an uncircumcised woman. “But then we realized that there is no ‘cis’ in ‘team,’ and thought to ourselves, ‘Rebranding, here we come!'”
Franks said that really, heterosexuality is a hoax, and maybe so is being gay or bi, but she was willing to let the last two slide as long as they conformed to her vision of reality, which is really the only one that’s morally right, regardless of any confounding facts.
Yet while heterosexuality is an illusion conjured up by Big Gender and perpetrated upon humanity for way too many millennia now, nothing’s quite as bad as the most mendacious term out there—”cis.”
“Cis people aren’t really people, and cishet people are absolute monsters,” said Franks. “We can accept any letter in our alphabet soup, since there are infinite genders and even genetic sexes, but we’re sure as heck not going to let those letters in. At least not in that order. An infinite spectrum has no room for cishet!”
“So starting today, LGBTQI2+…um, I forget the rest. Starting today, we’re now ‘∞-cishet.'”
She then started a chant of “There is no cis in team,” before kicking a bigoted woman in the crotch with her size 47/13 shoe. She pointed out that it’s easy to spot bigoted women, since they seem to lack prominent Adam’s apples.
Franks then had to run off and beat a vaginaed woman into a bloody pulp for scratching up an education sticker on inclusivity.