The White House—Whoopsie!
Less than 12 hours into his tenure in the White House and President Joe Biden has suffered an adorable mishap that makes our hearts smile. While watching workers move in his items, he snagged a vacuum from a janitor and tried to sniff the hair in its rollers.
“Hey Jack, I bet that’s got a fine assortment of new hairs in there, bet ya dollars to donuts I’ll catch a whiff of ol’ Melania, what gams on that lass! Why don’t ya let me get a whiff of ’em,” he said snatching up the still-running vacuum and putting the bottom to his face.
“AGH! MALARKEY! It’s got me by the nose! Turn it off! Turn it off!” he yelled.
The Secret Service sprang into action, quickly dispatching the vacuum in a hail of bullets. The janitor, who must have been an insurrectionist, was also killed in the gunfire.
After being patched up by the Presidential physician, Biden swore off vacuum-cleaner hair for good. He’ll instead be receiving a weekly subscription box from Locks of Love.
America is healing.
Special correspondent Yurena A. contributed to this report.