Reading Time: 2 minutes With a record net profit of 43% this year, Goliath Industries, Inc. is excited to offer its 135,000 employees an affordable, new healthcare option this open season.
Reading Time: 2 minutes “Drag artists have channeled their penchant for playfully “‘reading each other to filth” into different forms of literacy, promoting storytelling as integral to queer and trans communities, as well as positioning queer and trans cultural forms as valuable components of early childhood education.”
Reading Time: < 1 minute Less than 12 hours into his tenure in the White House and President Joe Biden has suffered an adorable mishap that makes our hearts smile. While watching workers move in his items, he snagged a vacuum from a janitor and tried to sniff the hair in its rollers.
Reading Time: < 1 minute “Look, I know that people think money grows on trees, but we have to face the fact that it doesn’t. Congress has to work very hard to tax that money from you, and we can’t just go giving it back,” McConnell said.
Reading Time: < 1 minute Trump has promised that he will use his third term to walk among the ashes of California. His second term, which starts in 2021, will “probably be used to attend Ancient Joe’s funeral, he is old, very old, maybe the oldest, even ever.”
Reading Time: 2 minutes Democrats have announced plans to combat Trump’s heinous acts by expanding the court. In fact, they’re going to add 320,000,000 justices.
Reading Time: < 1 minute Having declared, “Corporations are people,” to much scorn and mockery from outraged liberals, Mitt Romney ended up on the right side of history today after dying in an auto accident and being instantly reincarnated as Raytheon.
Reading Time: 2 minutes People will always find ways to extract money from others by telling them what they’d like to hear. For many, the “health, wealth, and happiness” message is very appealing.
Reading Time: < 1 minute Already anticipating a landslide victory just like they had with Hillary Clinton, the Democrats are busy preparing for a Biden administration.
Reading Time: 2 minutes The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recently released an alarming new study. While Americans have always assumed that their country was in good health, a strange, new virus of the brain has led to their being more forms of hepatitis than major political parties in the country!
Reading Time: 2 minutes It’s being called the greatest threat to our democracy since Donald Trump destroyed the great institution forevermore in 2016, and specialists don’t know what to do.
Reading Time: 2 minutes United States—The nation’s conservatives are to anxious to get back to being deficit hawks, just as soon as Joe Biden is elected. In a street interview conducted in Mobile, registered Republican Joe Jeffries remarked, “I’ve voted straight R my whole life, ’cause we can’t let that deficit get out of control. Donald Trump, he’s right that we gotta drain the swamp! All Democrats want to do is spend, spend, spend….
Reading Time: 2 minutes Streep says that though the senators have already mastered faking smiles while lying, most of them still have to stab themselves with forks in order to produce a tear over things like the plight of the homeless and people dying by the millions.
Reading Time: < 1 minute If Trump gets even one more pick for the Supreme Court, it will be the end of democracy in this country forever, just as it was with justices Gorsuch and Kavanaugh. —Nancy Pelosi
Reading Time: < 1 minute “My mind is sharper than a, a, you know the thing,” Biden said in a remark in the nation’s capital. “I don’t have any brain problems, I’m fiddle as a fit.”
Reading Time: 2 minutes Sanders made the proclamation to a packed crowd at UC Berkeley, resulting in the crowd, some of whom already had lists of people to oppress, erupting into deafening jazz hands.