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Giant Corporation Excited to Offer New GoFundMe Healthcare Option This Open Season

politics

Giant Corporation Excited to Offer New GoFundMe Healthcare Option This Open Season

Giant Corporation Excited to Offer New GoFundMe Healthcare Option This Open Season

Lucas Necessary

Reading Time: 2 minutesWith a record net profit of 43% this year, Goliath Industries, Inc. is excited to offer its 135,000 employees an affordable, new healthcare option this open season.

The Academy’s Purpose for Drag Queen Story Hour

The Academy’s Purpose for Drag Queen Story Hour

Lucas Necessary

Reading Time: 2 minutes“Drag artists have channeled their penchant for playfully “‘reading each other to filth” into different forms of literacy, promoting storytelling as integral to queer and trans communities, as well as positioning queer and trans cultural forms as valuable components of early childhood education.”

joe biden nose caught in vacuum
Biden Gets Nose Caught in White House Vacuum Trying to Sniff Hair in Rollers

Biden Gets Nose Caught in White House Vacuum Trying to Sniff Hair in Rollers

Lucas Necessary

Reading Time: < 1 minuteLess than 12 hours into his tenure in the White House and President Joe Biden has suffered an adorable mishap that makes our hearts smile. While watching workers move in his items, he snagged a vacuum from a janitor and tried to sniff the hair in its rollers.

mitch mcconnell pay stub
McConnell Says in Lieu of Extra COVID Relief, He Will Let Americans Smell His Pay Stub

McConnell Says in Lieu of Extra COVID Relief, He Will Let Americans Smell His Pay Stub

Lucas Necessary

Reading Time: < 1 minute“Look, I know that people think money grows on trees, but we have to face the fact that it doesn’t. Congress has to work very hard to tax that money from you, and we can’t just go giving it back,” McConnell said.

trump 3rd term
Trump Says He Should Get “Underprecedented” Third Term

Trump Says He Should Get “Underprecedented” Third Term

Lucas Necessary

Reading Time: < 1 minuteTrump has promised that he will use his third term to walk among the ashes of California. His second term, which starts in 2021, will “probably be used to attend Ancient Joe’s funeral, he is old, very old, maybe the oldest, even ever.”

Dems Commit to Court Packing by Making Literally EVERY Citizen a Justice

Dems Commit to Court Packing by Making Literally EVERY Citizen a Justice

Lucas Necessary

Reading Time: 2 minutesDemocrats have announced plans to combat Trump’s heinous acts by expanding the court. In fact, they’re going to add 320,000,000 justices.

Mitt Romney Dies, Reincarnates as Corporation

Mitt Romney Dies, Reincarnates as Corporation

Lucas Necessary

Reading Time: < 1 minuteHaving declared, “Corporations are people,” to much scorn and mockery from outraged liberals, Mitt Romney ended up on the right side of history today after dying in an auto accident and being instantly reincarnated as Raytheon.

In Their Greed They Will Exploit You with False Words

In Their Greed They Will Exploit You with False Words

Lucas Necessary

Reading Time: 2 minutesPeople will always find ways to extract money from others by telling them what they’d like to hear. For many, the “health, wealth, and happiness” message is very appealing.

Biden Transition Team to Reverse-Lock, Camouflage Exits in White House

Biden Transition Team to Reverse-Lock, Camouflage Exits in White House

Lucas Necessary

Reading Time: < 1 minuteAlready anticipating a landslide victory just like they had with Hillary Clinton, the Democrats are busy preparing for a Biden administration.

CDC: Alarming Study Finds There Are More Forms of Hepatitis Than Major Political Parties

CDC: Alarming Study Finds There Are More Forms of Hepatitis Than Major Political Parties

Lucas Necessary

Reading Time: 2 minutesThe Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recently released an alarming new study. While Americans have always assumed that their country was in good health, a strange, new virus of the brain has led to their being more forms of hepatitis than major political parties in the country!

Worrying Ballot Error Lists “Star-Belly Sneetches” and “Sneetches Without” Instead of Democrat and Republican

Worrying Ballot Error Lists “Star-Belly Sneetches” and “Sneetches Without” Instead of Democrat and Republican

Lucas Necessary

Reading Time: 2 minutesIt’s being called the greatest threat to our democracy since Donald Trump destroyed the great institution forevermore in 2016, and specialists don’t know what to do.

mitch mcconnell holding turtle
Republicans Eager to Get Back to Being Fiscally Conservative, Just as Soon as Biden Elected

Republicans Eager to Get Back to Being Fiscally Conservative, Just as Soon as Biden Elected

Lucas Necessary

Reading Time: 2 minutesUnited States—The nation’s conservatives are to anxious to get back to being deficit hawks, just as soon as Joe Biden is elected. In a street interview conducted in Mobile, registered Republican Joe Jeffries remarked,  “I’ve voted straight R my whole life, ’cause we can’t let that deficit get out of control. Donald Trump, he’s right that we gotta drain the swamp! All Democrats want to do is spend, spend, spend….

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Meryl Streep to Teach Senators How to Act Like They Care

Meryl Streep to Teach Senators How to Act Like They Care

Lucas Necessary

Reading Time: 2 minutesStreep says that though the senators have already mastered faking smiles while lying, most of them still have to stab themselves with forks in order to produce a tear over things like the plight of the homeless and people dying by the millions.

Ginsburg Launched into Space to Protect Her from COVID-19

Ginsburg Launched into Space to Protect Her from COVID-19

Lucas Necessary

Reading Time: < 1 minute If Trump gets even one more pick for the Supreme Court, it will be the end of democracy in this country forever, just as it was with justices Gorsuch and Kavanaugh. —Nancy Pelosi

biden dementia spanish flu
Joe Biden Tests Negative for Spanish Flu

Joe Biden Tests Negative for Spanish Flu

Lucas Necessary

Reading Time: < 1 minute“My mind is sharper than a, a, you know the thing,” Biden said in a remark in the nation’s capital. “I don’t have any brain problems, I’m fiddle as a fit.”

Bernie Sanders Promises To End Wars, Bring Home Troops To Guard Gulags Instead

Bernie Sanders Promises To End Wars, Bring Home Troops To Guard Gulags Instead

Lucas Necessary

Reading Time: 2 minutesSanders made the proclamation to a packed crowd at UC Berkeley, resulting in the crowd, some of whom already had lists of people to oppress, erupting into deafening jazz hands.

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Hiking and Adventure Map (Work in Progress)

  • NOTE! Zoom in for full list. Some icons at default view contain 5+ hikes when zoomed in. I'm transcribing these hikes in my own order, but if you'd like to see one moved to the top of the review list, just let me know.


Map Symbology:

  • •Blue—Hiking plus kayaking trips
  • •Green—Day hikes; can be done as overnights.
  • •Yellow—Overnight hikes, typically 2 nights.
  • •Red—Long-duration hikes, typically 5+days.
  • •Purple—Camping, international trips; excursions.

The Site and Careers

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