America’s doctor is making splashes all across the world. From being given his own day in Washington DC to having an Italian mass COVID grave named after him, he’s the physician that you can trust to score big, time after time, no matter how explicitly wrong he is.
The Israelis recently gave Dr. Fauci a million dollars for “his remarkable restraint versus another historical figure,” but most important to America’s top-paid government employee has been his award from the Wuhan Institute of Virology. For the second straight year, Dr. Fauci has received the coveted Employee of the Year Award.
In 2019, the winner of the same prize died shortly after receiving it from a mysterious respiratory illness; due to the timing, Dr. Fauci only received an award for securing the most funding for the institute. He says the 2019 loss left him bitter, but not for long.
The Employee of the Year Award comes with a cash prize of ¥10,500. Dr. Fauci says that he’s going to use the money to take his pet bat, Mr. Massa Mortem, to the veterinarian, as the little feller has had a nagging cough for a while. He’ll use the remainder to sue Dr. Heather Heying and Dr. Brett Weinstein for their “whackadoodle conspiracy theories about the origins of coronavirus.”