Elizabeth Warren, falling in popularity with the woke, recently took a vision quest into their hearts and minds and discovered an undeniable truth:
The next Secretary of Defense must be selected only at the approval of the nearest young, non-binary, demi-queer, two-spirits.
Warren has been recently using the slogan, “Get Woke or Get Whacked,” and expected that the statement would be met with great enthusiasm. She also adopted a new and iconic campaign image, which combines the Soviet hammer and sickle with the transgender flag, both of which she “has always admired beyond words, well at least words that commoners not as educated as myself can understand.”
Sadly, Warren went over-a-line by specifying “nearest young, non-binary, demi-queer, two-spirits,” in her call for SecDef selection. Two-spirits, as all know, is a version of Native American gender identity which allows, say, a person one might pejoratively call a “gay native,” to respond correctly to the affront, “No, my main spirit is straight, but another inside me isn’t, but that doesn’t mean that I’m gay or bi! And what pronouns are YOU using?”
While that sounds good, Warren should not have embraced her Native American heritage so bigotedly. In doing so, Warren has implicitly endorsed literal, figurative violence against all other people of color, except Asians, who are too smart of their own good, and should be watched like hawks, especially when trying to infest places like Harvard.
As everyone knows, any specificity is, when it is all said and done, a method of oppressing minorities more ambiguous than oneself. This writer personally identifies as a non-non-oscillating-binary panqueer genderamorphous infinite-spirit. I in fact reject transgenderism for implying that gender is something one can transition “from and to,” which is a phrase of offense that implies binaries, which are of course nothing but a neo-con hoax, much the same as heterosexuality—give me a break!
And so I implore you to join me in calling for Warren to demand that the have the next SecDef be selected by a person who “has no clue what they are.”
It’s the only way to be inclusive enough.