Sensing that his kampaign is in troubled waters, Bernie Sanders is trying a new approach:
Winning Trump over.
While it seems a long shot, Sanders’ past controversial statements, such as calling starving people having to line up for food a “good” thing, may just be to his advantage.
Sanders is now promising that his bread lines won’t be the starvation-scrums for scraps of stale bread that his favorite country, Mother Russia, used to have.
Instead, his lines will feature stale bread and also McDonald’s. His website now lists McDonald’s as a “human right,” and specifies that “small, very small” cheeseburgers from Happy Meals will be provided for those with “minuscule hands.”
It’s obvious that Donald Trump himself senses danger, as he was last seen having an aide read “The Art of the Deal” to him, very, very slowly, since he’s too dumb to understand or read it on his own. (He is very stupid.)
The website 538 says that there is a 98% chance that Donald Trump will vote for Bernie Sanders due to the ingenious move.