Ginsburg Launched into Space to Protect Her from COVID-19
Cape Canaveral, Florida—Ruth Bader Ginsburg, aged 147, is the first Supreme Court Justice to visit space, and the oldest living organism to ever do so. Among rising concerns about the elderly being killed by the COVID-19 virus, liberals across America started a GoFundMe to launch the ancient justice heavenward, a word which they find offensive due to its superstitious connotations.
Leah Arntwurst, a self-described pronoun warrior, remarked on Twitter,
Nancy Pelosi herself contributed to the crowd-funding effort and likewise had words of wisdom:
Because the earth will be completely devoid of life within 11 years due to our failure to act against global warming, professors at Berkeley estimate that Bader Gunsburg will be the last human left alive in the universe come 2031.