DC Comics has introduced a monstrous new supervillain to the great thrill of fans. The utterly evil man refuses to release his pronouns—reticence expected from any such cretinous person—and even worse, he refuses to wear a mask.
“We wanted a supervillain that really brings a threat this time! And who kills more people than those who don’t wear masks?” asked a DC Comics spokesperson while scheduling an abortion for his girlfriend.
The malevolent being goes by the name “Superspreader” (though his friends just call him Bob) and has the power of Corona Cough, which can wipe out a crowd with one blow from 6 paces or less.
Writers have hinted that the DC superheroes will try to put an end to the terrible, murderous menace by masking him up with at least two masks, as their leader Dr. Science S. Fauci recommends, “but it won’t go as well as they’d hope, and only 99.6% of them will survive—yes, the danger is real this time!”
The various heroes will also act out a B-plot in which they take dangerous criminals who only wear one mask and cast them into the sea, where their casual disregard for human life will not save them as they sink into the briny depths, and hopefully they will also be chomped by a shark as extra punishment.