Reading Time: 2 minutesFollowing his Presidential pardon by Joe Biden for crimes he’s committed all the way back to 2014, Dr. Anthony Fauci’s mannerisms and actions have grown a bit much for some people, with many reporting that he’s “Just going hog wild,” and “Completely out of control.”
Reading Time: 2 minutesFresh off becoming a mega-millionaire as a humble public servant, Dr. Anthony Fauci is looking for more uses for his unique set of skills. And they won’t involve tedious coronaviruses from the Far East.
Reading Time: 2 minutes“There’s nothing tastier than eating the bank account of a restaurateur who’s putting up a “PERMANENTLY CLOSED” sign,” he said with a chuckle and a smack of his lips. “Serve it up with a side of kids’ tears and you’ll have your new favorite dish.”
Reading Time: < 1 minuteWriters have hinted that the DC superheroes will try to put an end to the terrible, murderous menace by masking him up with at least two masks, as their leader Dr. Science S. Fauci recommends, “but it won’t go as well as they’d hope, and only 99.6% of them will survive.”
Reading Time: < 1 minuteIn a massive bungle between Moderna and Microsoft, the nanochip in the new COVID vaccine is far too large to be injected safely.
Reading Time: 6 minutesIt’s disappointing to see that we are back in the “media scare stories about hospitals” stage. The good news is that, just like last time, this is simply not the case. The corporate press, which I believe is the enemy of the people, either has no idea what they are saying or are seeking to mislead. Let’s look into it all. Here we have: Hospitals in Idaho, Pennsylvania, Texas overwhelmed…
Reading Time: 2 minutes“We’ve almost beaten this disease, and by wearing your feeding bags, I’m certain that we’ll have coronavirus crushed within the next five years or so,” Governor Newsom told reporters. “Just wear your mask into the restaurant, and when your food is brought out in your nose bag, make the exchange as quickly as possible and without breathing.”
Reading Time: 2 minutesThe Philippines have had universal mask wear AND a strict lockdown, yet cases are surging and now exceed 6k a day. This is much worse than it looks because they barely test at all. It’s 0.27/1000 pop/day. Per capita per test, it’s over 3X the US. Let’s run through the (rough) math: 6277 cases/day. testing is 0.27 vs 2.3 in the US, so multiply by 8.51. The population is 107mm…
Reading Time: 6 minutesNotable analysis of some WHO commentary.
Reading Time: 2 minutesNews from the Centers for Disease Control, plus a proposal for an awkward political alliance.
Reading Time: < 1 minuteRacism has killed coronavirus. Not content to target minorities struggling to make a go of things, it’s now targeted and in fact entirely killed off the novel coronavirus. “Never in our lifetimes have we witnessed a genocide due to racism,” remarked Anderson Cooper. “Well, until now. Yes, folks, racism has killed off the entirety of the novel coronavirus. It had just arrived in America, a poor immigrant struggling to get…
Reading Time: 2 minutesIn a statement, Joe Biden stated that he supports the rage that people are feeling. “Look, look, I felt that way once, I did. I hear you. I, I, I used a chain, a chain on CornPop, after telling him that I was going to, ‘Look, gonna come up there and yank you off.’ So, like I was saying, two stones with one bird here, we kill the mob and get justice for the virus.”
Reading Time: < 1 minuteRealizing that teachers in face-to-face educational settings will see casualty rates in the range of 99-100%, and sometimes higher in red states, which sadly embrace the deadly disease, the Democrats have launched into action to save lives.
Reading Time: < 1 minuteMayor Bill de Blasio had told citizens that any person caught swimming would be taken right out of the water, but it was too late for one foolish local resident.
Reading Time: 2 minutesBryan Franzel hopes that the lockdowns will end soon, as he thinks that the state shouldn’t be involved in anyone’s bedroom, and he’s really tired of the forced monogamy.
Reading Time: 2 minutesDr. Fauci warned America of the new, invisible enemy.
Reading Time: 2 minutesXi had to pause to take a call from the Secretary of Education and started screaming, “No, no! No school field trip to the friendly, local bat virology lab! No more of those! You stop them!”
Reading Time: < 1 minuteHis posting history reveals that he’s wanted boomers to die for a couple of years, but now it’s out of compassion.
Reading Time: 2 minutesThe Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, under guidance from the White House, is now aiming to prevent coronavirus by direct injection.
Reading Time: 4 minutesPeople love exciting things. The chemical secretions in the brain can be enthralling—if you love roller coasters, you know what I’m talking about. In the same way, people can enjoy something terrifying as long as they’re personally safe: wildfires, pandemics, airplane crashes, you name it. The panic of a pandemic can give you a good little jolt—boy, this is bad!
Reading Time: 2 minutesRocketing into the sky in his Gulfstream G700 private jet, Pastor Joel Osteen of Lakewood Church began his flyover of the pandemic stricken United States.
Reading Time: 2 minutesA new study authored by British epidemiologist Neil Ferguson (OBE FMedSci) has found shocking, grim results regarding Sweden’s failure to follow strict, government-enforced lockdowns.
Reading Time: 2 minutesUnited States—Reeling from an economy in free-fall in much the same way that the death count isn’t, Congressional leaders have reached across the aisle to pass a bill which declares every 11th person a domestic terrorist. “We know that gatherings can be no more than 10 people, so that makes every 11th a domestic terrorist,” speaker Pelosi declared. “I certainly don’t want that 11th person showing up at my mansion…
Reading Time: 2 minutesJohns Hopkins, which has been using arcgis mapping to provide routine updates to the extent of COVID-19 exposure, said that post welcoming-ceremony data shows that Utah is now in a committed relationship with the world-destroying pathogen.
Reading Time: 2 minutesWe interviewed a local, lonely man via Zoom, to see how social distancing is impacting his mental illness. Mr. Luke Han Necessary, whose last name is apparently not a joke, spoke to us at an almost unbearable length—in excess of 6 minutes.