Review: 9 Miles Hiking Gypsum Creek Lakes, Wind River Range
Reading Time: 14 minutesWhat a blessing. The most value/mile of any short hike in the Winds or Cloud Peak Wilderness.
Scientists Discover Hottest Place On Planet Is Inside Your Tent The Second After Sun Comes Up
Reading Time: 2 minutesBoulder, CO—Scientists at the University of Colorado School of Geophysics have overturned a long-held world record for planetary heat here on Earth. While the record was previously held by Iran’s Lut Desert, it’s been definitively relegated into the realm of sweaty has-beens.
Bird Box Monsters That Cause You to Suicide Yourself Revealed to Just be The Clintons
Reading Time: < 1 minuteThe creators of the sci-fi horror flick, “The Bird Box,” have announced a sequel to the acclaimed movie, but this time you’ll be able to get a good look at the monsters.
Review: Kayaking and Paddleboarding Spalding Bay, Grand Teton National Park
Reading Time: 4 minutesA quiet place with beautiful views in Grand Teton National Park? We were shocked to find out that such a thing exists.
Man Who Thinks He Should Determine How and Where People Should Live Swears He Would Never Have Been a Slave Owner
Reading Time: < 1 minute“Just let them leave?” Harris spluttered. “Like live their own lives without our control? I hate them, but we can’t do that—their land is valuable, you hicks!”
Woman Wants Specific Gift for Mother’s Day and Also It Must Be a Total Surprise
Reading Time: < 1 minuteConyers, GA—Local mother Julie Andrews is overjoyed to see what her husband gets her for Mother’s Day, and she expressed that sentiment abundantly during our interview with her.
Chaos Erupts at School Board Meeting as Mother of 3 Forgets to Use Pronouns
Reading Time: 2 minutes“Out, out!” screamed Mx. Still. “I don’t know what alien gender you are, but on this planet, we give our pronouns so that we don’t make other people uncomfortable!”
CIA to Use Socially-Acceptable Clinton Predator Drone on US Soil
Reading Time: 2 minutesLooking to prevent another unarmed insurrection where the only people killed are defenseless women, the CIA has announced that it will begin using Predator drones over the US landmass.
White Supremacy Violence So Effective That Whites Need Not Even Be Involved
Reading Time: < 1 minuteThe data shows that the violence of white supremacy can occur even when the nearest white person is some 80 miles away.
Cooking Show “Chopped,” Chopped for Not Having Equality of Outcome
Reading Time: < 1 minuteChopped is being replaced by a new cooking show where the judges simply tell each other that no one dish is better or worse than the other and refuse further comment on the merits of the dishes.
Local 6-Year-Old Masters the Word “Impostor,” Uses It 600 Times a Day
Reading Time: < 1 minuteA local 6-year-old girl has mastered the word “impostor” and now impresses her parents with it no less than 600 times per day, at a median decibel level of 87.
Banana Republics at Least Have Bananas
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Biden Administration Commits to Raising Only Free Range, Never-Caged Border Children
Reading Time: 2 minutesFacing blowback for policies at the border, the Biden administration has announced that it is uncaging thousands of migrant children.
More Important Than Truth: Consistency of Narrative
Reading Time: 2 minutesThey say that you shouldn’t watch how they make the sausage. Today I’m going to help you watch narrative-building in real time. Observe below:
Site Update: Proofreading and More
Reading Time: < 1 minuteIt’s amazing how exciting boring things can be.
Email Update
Reading Time: < 1 minuteYour emails went into oblivion.
Dr. Fauci Supports Consumption Of Ethically Harvested Small Businesses
Reading Time: 2 minutes“There’s nothing tastier than eating the bank account of a restaurateur who’s putting up a “PERMANENTLY CLOSED” sign,” he said with a chuckle and a smack of his lips. “Serve it up with a side of kids’ tears and you’ll have your new favorite dish.”
American Receives Waiver to Crucify Passengers Who Wear Neck Gaiters
Reading Time: 2 minutes“Following the science, we were going to—Dr. that tickles, less tongue—going to just bake their heads in ovens, but the FAA said that didn’t comply with safety standards, and passenger safety is our number one priority,” the spokesperson continued as Dr. Fauci flicked him in the nose with a face-mask retention strap.
DC Comics Introduces New Villain, ‘Superspreader!’
Reading Time: < 1 minuteWriters have hinted that the DC superheroes will try to put an end to the terrible, murderous menace by masking him up with at least two masks, as their leader Dr. Science S. Fauci recommends, “but it won’t go as well as they’d hope, and only 99.6% of them will survive.”
Practicing: Psaki Caught Circling Back to That on New Merry-Go-Round
Reading Time: < 1 minuteWhite House press secretary Jen Psaki will finally be making good on promises to circle back to that.
2019 Ignorado: Preparativos Pandemia Respiratoria de Alto Impacto
Reading Time: 2 minutesInteresantes cosas que demuestran que casi todo lo que hemos hecho y seguimos haciendo, no solo no tiene respaldo científico sino que es CONTRARIO a la evidencia científica.
Biden Gets Nose Caught in White House Vacuum Trying to Sniff Hair in Rollers
Reading Time: < 1 minuteLess than 12 hours into his tenure in the White House and President Joe Biden has suffered an adorable mishap that makes our hearts smile. While watching workers move in his items, he snagged a vacuum from a janitor and tried to sniff the hair in its rollers.
Live Not by Lies: Unyieldingly Anchored to Reality
Reading Time: 11 minutesExamining the telltale signs of a culture marching toward totalitarianism at breakneck speed.
Live Not by Lies: Prepare by History
Reading Time: 9 minutesA look into the history of Marxism, Nazism, and Christianity.
Be ready. Be active. Don’t lie. Serve others. Live Not by Lies.
Nanochip in New COVID Vaccine Too Large to be Injected Safely
Reading Time: < 1 minuteIn a massive bungle between Moderna and Microsoft, the nanochip in the new COVID vaccine is far too large to be injected safely.