Reading Time: 7 minutesIn essence, idea laundering works through systemic infiltration of ideological malfeasance in the peer-review process. The grievance studies showed how this works, so I won’t go into too much detail (all the professors involved are liberal; Dr. Boghossian wrote “A Manual for Creating Atheists, so their worldview is humanist), but I’ll break it down a bit.
Reading Time: 2 minutesWishing you a brightly burning future, and remember: if you don’t destroy your own place, I’ll help. I’m only a few more days of protesting from a very comfy retirement.
Reading Time: 2 minutesHe left his house to take a walk and clear his mind, but found that dogs were forming into packs in the streets, and all the trees were covered in murders of crows as far as his eyes could see.
Reading Time: 2 minutesIn a statement, Joe Biden stated that he supports the rage that people are feeling. “Look, look, I felt that way once, I did. I hear you. I, I, I used a chain, a chain on CornPop, after telling him that I was going to, ‘Look, gonna come up there and yank you off.’ So, like I was saying, two stones with one bird here, we kill the mob and get justice for the virus.”
Reading Time: 2 minutesMost of the astronauts were pretty bummed to be stuck in space, as they heard that people at the protests were getting absolute bargains from local stores, no coupons required!
Reading Time: 9 minutesThe answer to the pop quiz is “depression,” you lunatics! That was basically a free 100, so if you failed, you should probably be bearsprayed.
Reading Time: 3 minutesOnce upon a time, there lived an orange-skinned man and his son, Jerome, or JPow, as his friends called him, on their small estate in the fabled land of Washington, DC. It was said to be a hive of scum and villainy, but the orange-skinned man, Mr. Donald, and his son, Jerome Powell, well, they made the best of it in trying times.
Reading Time: < 1 minuteCandidate Joe Biden’s odd story about getting into a chain-fight with bad-boy pool Kraken CornPop came under fire today.
Reading Time: 2 minutes“The sun looks down on nothing half so good as a household laughing together over a meal.” —C.S. Lewis, Weight of Glory
Reading Time: 2 minutes“Kathleen, our records indicate that you haven’t been vaccinated with the GATES’ HUMAN DEFENDER antivirus. To resolve this issue, please select “Ok, I’ll be vaccinated,” or “Cancel” to exit the store immediately. Remember, if it moves and has blood, it can be vaccinated!” the robot said cheerfully.
Reading Time: < 1 minutePresident Trump wooed conservatives with promises to pay off the $19 trillion national debt in only eight years, and good news—only $25.4 trillion left to go! It’s a darn sight better than that rotten Obummer did with his 8 years, that’s for sure!
Reading Time: < 1 minuteSo far the institution only offers PhDs, including a Doctorate of Official Narrative and a Doctorate of Liberty Suppression. The courses can be completed in under 8 hours, but teach people how to quickly suss out what sort of videos should and shouldn’t be viewed by the public at large, how to ban people in online platforms, and how to be maximally condescending.
Reading Time: < 1 minuteLocal Republican city councilman Dan Boyds says that the hysteria over coronavirus really needs to settle down, especially since the virus hasn’t killed “an appreciable number of [his] own friends.” Boyds says that he thinks that the death toll is overstated. Last week a man got “gobbled by a shark, and it was COVID death,” he said, which he found “kinda suspicious, honestly.” When queried as to whether or not…
Reading Time: < 1 minuteRealizing that teachers in face-to-face educational settings will see casualty rates in the range of 99-100%, and sometimes higher in red states, which sadly embrace the deadly disease, the Democrats have launched into action to save lives.
Reading Time: 4 minutesHave you ever been hurt or disgusted by someone? Have you wanted to leave them to drown in their own, willful mistakes?
Be steadfast in an age of impermanence.
Reading Time: 6 minutesA sin wave has ups and downs, but it has no actual growth over time.
Is this your life?
Reading Time: < 1 minuteMayor Bill de Blasio had told citizens that any person caught swimming would be taken right out of the water, but it was too late for one foolish local resident.
Reading Time: 2 minutesGo and look out your kitchen window. Have you done it? Did you see anyone on the street, walking in the fresh air and sunshine? Most were decent, law-abiding citizens, the type that you’d never invite into your home, obviously, but who you’d smile at from behind your N95, and hope that they understood.
But I bet you saw something else, too.
Reading Time: 2 minutesBryan Franzel hopes that the lockdowns will end soon, as he thinks that the state shouldn’t be involved in anyone’s bedroom, and he’s really tired of the forced monogamy.
Reading Time: 2 minutesWould you like to improve your moral compass? There’s one thing that you might have avoided doing because you’ve felt that it was selfish
Reading Time: 2 minutes“Listen up, bucko,” he angrily remarked at the camera. “Who are you and what are you staring at?” An aide was fetched to change his Zoom screen, which he had accidentally set to show his own face.
Reading Time: 2 minutesDr. Fauci warned America of the new, invisible enemy.
Reading Time: 4 minutesWho is Allen “Baby Jones” Jones? The world’s most enviable man.
Reading Time: 5 minutesWorship, service, and the purpose of assembling with your battle buddies are often all misunderstood.
So is assembling with the saints even worth it?
Reading Time: 2 minutesXi had to pause to take a call from the Secretary of Education and started screaming, “No, no! No school field trip to the friendly, local bat virology lab! No more of those! You stop them!”